You can spend your whole life looking for the man who loves
you for who you truly are, knows about your oddest behaviors and still accepts you, or you can pick up your phone now and
call your best guy friend—because he already is that man. That special
man you have been waiting for. Listening to those songs for, reading
those books for and watching those romantic movies for.
It may be weird to start thinking of him in “that way,” but it all comes down to two words: Shared History. Need more? Here are ten reasons to help push you over the edge.
1. You already know what the other person wants. He
knows you’ve always wanted a big family, and you know he’d like to be
married by the time he’s 30. Friends have these discussions. There is no
fear of the truth, no asking yourself, What if he doesn’t want as many
kids as I do? Compromise is important in any relationship, and the best
way to compromise is by starting with the truth. You’ll get closer to
what you both want this way.
2. You know each other’s dating histories. Chances
are you’ve seen one another in relationships and you’ve probably even
met each other’s exes. Since you’ve already met his past lovers, you’ll
be a lot less likely to feel insecure about them.
3. You’ve shared important moments together. If
you’ve known each other long enough, you’ve been there when family
members have gotten married, when babies have been born… through job
promotions, puppies and maybe even the purchase of a first home. These
events shape us and shape our relationships. There’s nothing as good as
having a real past with your partner.
4. The secrets are all out on the table. That
drunken hookup with your friend’s ex-boyfriend? He knows about it. The
stripper he dated in his early twenties? You’re her Facebook friend.
These secrets that we would normally be scared to share with a new
partner for fear of judgment? Our friends already know. And we’re also
less likely to care about them when we know they’re just one small
part
of someone’s past.
5. The respect is already there. Respect is so vital
to a relationship, but sometimes that respect takes time to form. You
need to get to know each other, learn one another’s values and see each
other in action. Respect is no less important to friendships. Wouldn’t
it be great to start a relationship and already have that respect in
place?
6. You’ve seen each other in your less than stellar moments.
He’s wiped away your tears despite the raccoon-sized mascara circles
under your eyes. He knew you when you sported the´Freshman/jambite, he’s
helped you gain weight! He’s seen you with post-workout headband hair,
in your Uggs and sweatpants —and he still loves you.
You’ve heard him burp, smelled his farts, most likely caught him in a
ball-scratch, seen him watching football with stains on his pants (he
didn’t have a napkin!) and you were there when he went through
that
whole Hawaiian shirt phase. And (but?), you still love him.
7. Your career priorities are already out there. You
know that his goal is to make partner by 32, and he knows your dream is
to open your own literary agency. You’ve already helped one another
work toward these goals, so when he can’t make it home one night before
10 p.m., you’re more likely to be understanding.
8. You’re already discussed the hardest topics.
Religion. Money. Politics. These are things that friends can discuss
freely and with passion, but that can sometimes come between two people
without a prior connection. He may be a poor Catholic who voted for Ross
Perot, but if this wasn’t enough to keep you from being his friend when
you first met a decade ago, most likely it won’t be a deal-breaker for
you now.
9. You already know each other’s families. Friends
meet each other’s families in no-pressure situations. Over dinners and
drinks, there are no hidden future father-in-law agendas, and no “How
will you support my daughter?” questions. And since you’ve already made
an impression on his parents, that pressure should stay off when you
take your relationship to the next level.
10. You really know one another. This is
the big one. We let our friends see the real us. There is no pressure to
be liked, no worries about whether or not we look good enough, and no
little lies. The best relationships are built on honesty, so who better
to be with than the person you’ve been honest with from the beginning?
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